It's been a while since I last updated this blog and I probably said something like this: "Hi, it's been a while or Hi, I'm back bla bla bla" countless time already here. I wish I could be more consistent in updating posts on this blog, I really do. I've done a lot of journaling throughout the years but never really post it here. Some days I would just grab a piece of paper and start writing with my pen instead of typing it and post it on my blog cause it's easier that way. For me, writing is a healing process. I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm sad, and I write even when I'm angry. Sometimes when I had an argument with my parents, when I couldn't be able to talk back to them, I write. I channel my emotions through writings a lot. I found this really helpful to fully understand myself and control my feelings. I get to say a lot without even worrying about how others might feel. I would let it all out and leave behind whatever resentment I have as I throw away those piece of papers. I guess this is why I always been good in expressing myself to other people, writings just helped me filtered out what needed to be said and what needed to stay on the paper (or left unsaid).
Now, this is something that I'm struggling with the most, I always have a problem with inconsistency. I'm trying to overcome it now by fixing up my routines (believe me when I said so, I've been reading and watching a lot of tips. I'm very determined!). I'm a person with a lot of great ideas and ambitions, but that's actually the problem, it's too much, and I'm drowning. Sometimes I would be super excited in the beginning but then ended up leaving it behind. I have this weird habit of obsession over something when I'm done obsessing, I would just go and never touch it again. I just realised it recently, whether they be game, song, food, you name it. In spite of the fact that I get easily distracted or bored with a lot of things, thank God, it never happened to how I feel about people. I would never get bored with people, maybe because people have emotions and they continually change. Anyway, this year resolution is just gonna be one thing and one thing only: be consistent with whatever it is I'm chasing!
However, with a lot of things going on with my life from the past few years, it's just so hard to write in a proper manner because I know that it should be all about quality, not quantity. So why all of a sudden I'm here? Well, during this isolation time, world chaos with a deadly uninvited virus known as COVID-19 or coronavirus, it inspired me to write and update this blog again even though nobody really cares or visit my blog (hahaha). It's not that I have a lot of free time though, I'm just trying to find a way to keep me entertained still other than cooking and spending numerous amount of time with cleaning the house. I miss that sort of a relieving feeling I got when I'm able to put my thoughts in writings. Besides, I found myself tweeting a lot these days and started to feel that it's kind of unhealthy. So, rather than letting some unimportant rants out, I prefer to write some quality rants over here, I supposed. The current situations have been stressful enough, and today I wouldn't want to give in so many details to it. I'm sure that everyone had enough already with the news every day only to get updated on how things get worse day by day. The bottom line is, I'm just gonna sit here in front of my laptop, enjoy my quarantine, start writing more, and never take things for granted again. May the forces be with all of us during this outbreak of a pandemic disease. Amen.
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